I could use some advice here…
Let’s talk about Tom, Dick and Jane. Me, I’m Tom….. Jane was my girlfriend for a year and a half. Things werent working out between us, so we broke up late december (actually, 2 days before newyears I believe..Pretty sucky, eh?)…..
Well, 3 Months later, Dick, one of My best friends decided to start Dating Jane. I had suspected Jane of having feelings for dick before we broke up. I noticed her paying more attention to him than me, if we were alone and intimate and he called, she would sit on the phone talking to him, etc… I guess this would suck but wouldn’t be so bad if I had known about it but I just found out LAST NIGHT! (8 months into their relationship).
Now, 2 days ago (or so) I asked Jane if she was with Dick and she kinda gave me a look. I said I assumed that was a yes, and aparently she took it that way. Making sure not to say that they were together she assured me that while feelings had developed that they took my feelings into consideration. The way she told me all this, I felt like they didn’t go out due to their respect for my feelings…. I found out last night from a mutual friend that they were dating and when I called dick he told me they had been for the past 8 months or so. I give him credit for not lying to me when asked, but he claims he never told me cuz he thought I knew….But he had NEVER mentioned anything to me.
I really don’t know what to do now. I am pissed at him and her for going behind my back like that. I was still in love with her when he started dating her, and now, to find all this out I feel incredibly backstabbed. She’s completely out of the picture now. I wanted to try to build up a friendship with her, but now thats not going to happen. My question, should I keep him as a friend? Any advice is greatly appreciated
true, he didnt tell you, but he was honest?
Yes, He didn’t lie when I confronted him and asked him if and how long they were together. but he never told me they were dating. As if he were sneaking behind my back hoping that I wouldn’t find out. He said that he never said anything cuz she told him that I knew, which seems kinda strange to me. He knew that we werent talking for about 6 mo’s after we broke up.
sounds fishy to me
Well I know how you feel. And to be honest I would talke to him. Thats just me though they knew you didnt know. But if your good friends then maybe you should talk to him other wise find a new friend.
I have spoken to him and I’m still a bit confused about how I am going to take this whole thing. He knows I’m pissed and I’m not talking to him for now. It’s really harsh to find out that one of your best freinds is sneaking around behind your back with your ex….
Ok, so we all know that chicks have NO MORALS whatsoever, but when your buddy goes and pulls a stunt like that, and uses such a lame-ass excuse like ‘I thought you knew’, maybe it proves guys can be just as mean as girls…or maybe he’s just a girl too!
Alot of people think that they are sparing someone’s feeling by not saying anything, but in the end it only causes more pain. And as far as him saying that he thought you knew, I’m sure that something about them two would have come up in converstaing within that much time. But you heard nothing. I would keep to myself and wait for one of them to come to me trying to make up. I would be adult about it and say sure we could still be “friends” but I find it hard to trust you now because of what you have done. lol, then invite him/her out for a drink. They’ll either spend the night trying to suck up or sit there nervous as hell not knowing what to say.